Finally, a blog.

I've stopped journaling, for whatever reason, so I figured it might be easier to keep up a blog (I can type 75 words per minute- that's a lot faster than I can write, that's for sure). I'm surprised my interest in journaling has decreased, considering I used to journal everyday, and have finished around 10 journals throughout my short 20 years of life. My passion for writing still exists, so blog on, right?

Today was productive; I went to two groups, ANAD and Kathy Jarman's group. Both were very helpful.

In ANAD we were given an assignment, to draw something we wish to be successful in throughout our lives. I immediately knew what I was going to draw- a picture of an eye, with the very colorful eyeshadow that I wear, to symbolize staying true to myself. This thought has been pretty heavy on my mind. It upsets me that so many people have no respect for people who show their creativity through make-up. It seems like no matter where I go, I am criticized for being "different." However, I refuse to conform to what society wants me to be. I wouldn't change myself just to fit the image that society wants me to fit, I've never been that way. I'm always finding ways to stand out. When I started wearing eyeshadow, it was an outlet for me; it gave me a sense of individuality, and I wouldn't change that feeling for the world. So, world, judge me if you wish- but I'm going to stay true to myself.

Kathy Jarman's group was wonderful as always. I love the girls I've met throughout this treatment process. Before going into treatment at Linden Oaks, I thought it was impossible to meet someone who had recovered from an eating disorder- I figured it was something that's a life-long battle. But I was wrong. Recovery is possible, and there are people out there who have been through hell and back, yet are recovered. And those girls are so inspiring to me. It's a wonderful feeling to go to bed and know that SOMEONE out there was able to beat this terrible disease, and if they can do it, so can I.

On a different note, I can't wait until the 8th of August. Someone very special to me needs to know how much they mean to me- and I'm determined to make things work. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.